Hey there Gorgeous,
Has it been a rough day? Baby up all night? Toddler screaming bloody murder at every little thing? Teething baby won’t let you sleep or put them down? Can’t remember when you showered? Feeling overwhelmed and like nothing you do will help your baby?
Take a minute
Whatever you are feeling or questioning right now, say stop. I know it sounds silly but just do it. Now say three positive things like:
- I am an amazing mother
- I can do this
- My baby’s smile lights my whole world
Any positive things will do, just make sure you say them to yourself.
Being a mom is hard work. Honestly, being a parent is hard work. This little child that you have brought in the world asks so much of you. They require food, baths, diaper changes, love, and naps. All of these things, we are not used to providing without some form of verbal communication and unfortunately babies don’t talk to us. We can’t always figure out what’s wrong and that gets exhausting. Hearing a baby scream for 10-15 minutes straight and nothing you do helps, can really stress you out. Trust me, I’ve been there.
Take a break
You know how many times I had to set my daughter down and walk out the room to regroup? Or go into another room to let out a scream? It’s okay to get overwhelmed as long as you know how to deal with it. I try to never let my daughter see me get too overwhelmed because it truly makes it worse. I will go into our room and yell into a pillow to let off some steam.
It’s frustrating not knowing what’s wrong because you question everything you do. You wonder if you are a good parent and if you can even do this. Trust me, we have all been there. Let me give you one piece of advice, it will pass. Hang in there and stay as calm as you can. Take as many walk away breaks as you need. Your sanity is just as important as making your baby calm. A stressed mama is a stressed baby.
I know this from experience because I remember countless nights where she would wake up in the middle of the night and think it’s play time. I was the mom who thought I had to put her back to sleep because if she’s up I’m up. Boy oh boy did I get so frustrated with her energy that I’d start crying. Shocker, she would start to cry and flip out too. Second piece of advice, if they aren’t crying in the crib, let them be! I know this sounds scary but if your child is up playing being crazy, mine has done it so many times, leave them alone they will go to sleep! I would always go in and make sure it wasn’t hunger or diaper but after that check I left.
It Will Pass
As mothers we try our very best but sometimes those babes like to scream their heads off. I was never good at letting my daughter self soothe. Partly because she is stubborn as an ox like her father and I. She would scream for I swear 30 minutes sometimes because we didn’t hold her to sleep. Guess what? We are passed that! I put her in her crib and five minutes later I’m out of the room without crying. Like I said earlier, it will pass. It will get better, it all takes time.
My biggest issue has always been confidence and comparing my child to others. I always worry if I am not a good mom because our routine isn’t 100% the same every night, if I should be more firm, or not hold her as much. Let me tell you, all of the is garbage. It took me 23 months to realize I ROCK at being a mom. Let me let you in on a little secret, read really carefully, you do too! You are so amazing for even giving motherhood a go! It is not for the faint of heart! Moms are superhero’s without super powers. We some how have the ability to keep a little person alive and those who are single moms, I think you have a little bit of super powers.
You are a warrior
I’ll finish this little letter with this: you are a warrior, a goddess, you created a human life (how freaking cool is that?), and you deserve to cut yourself some slack. A fellow mom blogger, average healthy mom, reminded me that we need to have lower expectations and allow ourselves a bit of slack. Celebrate the small things like you put on pants! Or your kid ate food today. It doesn’t matter if it was organic or from a can or boob or where ever it was from, bravo! Celebrate that you made your child survive one more day, or that you made your child smile.
Let the tornado your child created be for one night and do something for you mama bear, you deserve the world.
A mom who has been there